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Anxiety attack [Jul. 20th, 2010|03:48 am]
I had a moderately severe anxiety attack on Friday. Leah gets off work at 8pm and usually shows up at my place between 10 after and half-past. I phoned her several times but (as I later found out) her phone was on silent. At quarter to, I left her a text saying, "I'm going to walk to the laundromat, since waiting is driving me crazy." And it was. I sincerely was 50% expecting her to be at the laundromat when I got there, either forgetting that I said I needed to do laundry, or thought I was going to meet her there for some reason.Well, she wasn't there. I threw my clothes into the wash and tried to read to keep my thoughts from racing. There were 3 other women in the laundromat, so I really did not want to breakdown in front of them. I started thinking about if she got into a severe car wreck, that she could be dying and here I am sitting in a laundromat. The less yet still distressing thought, was that she was at my place wondering where I was, if we just missed each other when I left. I kept telling myself that I wasn't allowed to worry until I got home and she wasn't there or I hadn't heard from her. Finally, a 9:30p she showed up. I ran out to her car and hugged her, as I was relieved to see her and glad she was alright. I was also glad that she was not mad at me for leaving my house when she was supposed to pick me up. She apologised for scaring me, and I told her it wasn't really her fault, it was mostly my brain that worked me up, but I really was fighting tears just before she showed up. I really wanted to walk back to my house to find out if she was there, but it was dark by then and I wasn't wearing proper footwear for walking. It is SO hard not to be impulsive in response to anxiety. :(

[User Picture]From: love_war_snow
2010-07-21 12:14 am (UTC)
Damn I love how we can get worked up over nothing. Hugs.
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