||[Jan. 3rd, 2010|12:28 am]
I am so frightened of the possibility that I may be dazzled by fool's gold
I want so much for there to be more
I need a deeper understanding
I long for that pulling connection
But perhaps some things truly "just are"
Just as we began to cohabit, we were forced apart.
So many "I love you"s on such a sleep-fogged morning.
How I wish that occurrence be possible daily
Our first day of 2010 was paradise to me
bachelor pad and all
There are so many ways in which I wish for you to "grow up"
but at the same time never want you to change
my disease is egocentric in the worst way
don't make me prove to you that I am still broken - for I undoubtedly will
concurrently painting myself in a light undeserving while pleading for salvation
proving to myself that I have yet to "grow up" in the ways I desire
I like life as it is, but that does not nullify my dream
We could have nothing and everything
We could be flat broke, yet rich
We could be destitute in high-fashion
And it would be perfect, so long as I have you