Log in

No account? Create an account
I haven't been properly updating much recently, it seems. My mood has… - Just love me or leave me alone. [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ archive | journal archive ]

[Oct. 26th, 2008|11:05 pm]
I haven't been properly updating much recently, it seems. My mood has pretty much been all over the place lately. For now, I am blaming the weather. I'm "alright", but walking a little too close to the edge, or something. And I don't have another therapy appointment until December (but that was my idea).
A bunch of good stuff has happened. I got 2 cds that Kim made for me, and I ordered her book and it arrived a lot quicker than expected.
I guess my thoughts and moods are rather fleeting. Rapid cycling perhaps.
There are a lot of movies I would like to re-watch, but there are so many more that I have yet to see.
I wore earrings to the preformance tonight. And Elaine said I did well on second (soprano - I usually sing first).
I've been thinking a lot about how inappropriate my feelings were as a pre-teen/teenager, or maybe I just feel guilty for expressing them. I chalked it all up to lacking a father-figure, but I'm wondering if it was that simple. I know there's not much of a point of dwelling on it, but I've always been one keen on understanding.
I'm very sad about Wayne. I tried talking to him tonight. I told Kay I'd call her up for a chat. Lisa was crying. I had to try really hard not to cry too.
I've been really close to crying a lot lately. I probably should just get it all out.
It occurs to me that a lot of my friends dislike each other. I wonder if that is because of my adaptability that I am good friends with such diverse people. Or maybe they aren't all that different from each other.
Jeff Dunham is a rather talented ventriloquist.
Alright, that's all I can come up with for now.

[User Picture]From: this_isa_lie
2008-10-27 06:14 am (UTC)
Hey I'm actually wondering if BPD and S.A.D have some correlation because it's definitely affecting me to the point I've decided to go on medication till Spring comes.
♥ You gotta let it out. Let the pain out till its all gone. Don't hold back that jsut represses the pain instead of release. ♥
I'll be there for you
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: nineveh_rains
2008-10-27 10:43 pm (UTC)
Well, I'm also diagnosed with Major Depression, so I'm not sure if it's a bpd thing.
When I start crying, I end up crying because I'm crying. It's a viscious cycle and doesn't accomplish much.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: this_isa_lie
2008-10-28 04:58 pm (UTC)
Or do you just not realize it accomplishes anything
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: this_isa_lie
2008-10-28 05:00 pm (UTC)
Well maybe it does and you just don't realize. Maybe you need to cry even more than that. I wasn't referring to BPD
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: nineveh_rains
2008-10-30 07:11 pm (UTC)
I get what you said. Maybe I just hate losing control. Idk.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: this_isa_lie
2008-10-31 02:24 am (UTC)
I don't blame you. But sometimes that's the best thing you can do in the long run. I got your speaker and your beautiful anklet (I'm right in that it's an anklet right?) Thank you so much. We will have to talk soon. Expect something in the mail as soon as it dries. xo
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: nineveh_rains
2008-10-31 04:58 am (UTC)
Yay. I'm glad you got it. Happy Halloween! :)
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)