Peripheral (nineveh_rains) wrote,

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I think I'm becomming more sensitive to your mixture of confusion/uncertainty. You try to brush it aside, telling yourself you've got it good. I know you're not going through what I am going through, but I am beginning to sense the things that make you insecure; things that make you fear that you're a failure (which isn't true). It's come to the point where I don't have to ask certain things to know the answers, and other things I know not to bring up because I know how they'd make you feel.

Maybe this won't be as brief as I intended.

I've been thinking a lot about Love the past few nights...wondering if I could love a girl. Well, I know I can, because I do, and I think that I could be "in-love" with a girl (yes, I'm referring to my crush), but I don't know if I could make love to a girl... I guess if it comes up, I'll find out. Making out seems to be okay, it's when the clothes come off that things get akward...
I also don't think I could have sex with JGB. After all the flirting and tempting and lust we've exchanged, I'm not sure if it's a thing of the past or if I just haven't seen him in a few years has lost my interest. I don't want him to think I'm stringing him along... I almost kissed him last time I was in the car. I think I'm just worried that if anything happens it won't be equivical. I know I was the first girl to pay attention to him, befriend him, be intimate with him...(God, I hope he didn't sleep with Katie just for a piece of ass...)

A knock at the door just made me lose my train of thought. *bitter*
I know I had more to say, I just can't think of it now. I'll be back later.

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