Peripheral (nineveh_rains) wrote,

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More Poerty

I do not have a life line
I have no one
I do not have a future
I have nothing
I do not have importance
I am empty
I do not have love
I am lonely
I have burning
and hatred
and hurt
and spite
but I do not have myself

now I let go of all these things
and I die again

I wash my hands of this morbidity
when all you are is what I see
and the grass tastes bitter
but in the places you've walked
too bad it was mostly pavement
and this sullen grace
stabs into my mind

quit your whining
and shut the fuck up
I'm not gonna help you
if you're so stuck up
and I'm not gonna let something
that once was a joy
become a curse to me
but I love you
can't you see
enough to insist
that you are wrong
but I'm done sympathising with you
and now I'm gonna let you go
until you decide
to do it our way
to become like us
(everything that you're so afraid of;
everything you used to know)
you think you're screwed up
but you're only making excuses
and I'm not gonna justify
them for you
any more

don't sacrifice yourself for me
you see, I'm already crucified
don't wallow through the mud to me
I've already been placed upon the altar
all these things you profess
are trivial in the light of your plans
I wait for you
only to be passed by
when the task is complete
unknowingly you shackle me with doubt
and shattered hopes, worn out promises
I am a victim of society
for society always wants what it gets
while I wait here in the cold
waiting for you to walk by me again

the look of sadness in your eyes
like the world is such a lonely place
abused and broken
flung into the corner
left in the dark
abandoned and dying
desolate sorrow and demise
life occurs at such a death trap rate
worried, forgotten
quivering in sorrow
naked and stark

you put cruel thoughts into my head
I'm swamped with hatred and contempt
around us, liars and their secrets
inside us, fire that burns, internal rejects
I pull my hair out and I scream
I turn the light on but the world is still decieving
you saw my blank stare and my chains
the pain it makes me feel more alive in a bad way
alone I cry
and slowly I die
you're sure that I'm fine
slowly I die
after this you watched me fall
and every morning I slam me against the wall
I find comfort there sometimes
trying to escape, being comforted by rejects
you tear my heart up, then I'm free
I open the door and no body sees me bleeding
you thought that life before was tough
you could wait around awhile
cuz my spirit's bound to turn up
alone I cry
and slowly I die
you're sure that I'm fine
slowly I die

can you find me?
tell me,
do you even know me?
do you even want to?
or am I just that faded rose
that crumples to dust in your hand
and is blown away by neglect
to be scattered at your feet.
do you see me
with lucidity and trust?
with patience and truth?
I know I am difficult to hold
with your rosy fogged up glasses
making it difficult to pick at the shards
of all I am

embittered turmoil
twisted pain
let this go of me
and dry these twisted blood-stained sheets in sunlight
that I may be aquited
of this strife
and feed this passion
with such hungry fire
that the purity will burn their eyes
and before me the world will fall away
until at last there will be nothing
I thirst for this free-dom
can it not be my life?
let this be what it will

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