Peripheral (nineveh_rains) wrote,
Peripheral
nineveh_rains

  • Mood:
I have just come to the sad realisation that I no longer enjoy sleep. I used to love sleep. Now it's just another thing that it is "time to do", like eating or taking meds. Perhaps my lifestyle has become too structured. When I eat outside of meal times I feel fat and that I should have more self-control. I no longer feel rested when I wake up. Actually, I haven't felt rested in a long while. Ie. I don't even remember the last time I felt rested. :S
The rest of my day was pretty mundane. I had a huge bowl of cereal when I got up, did laundry, watched 2 episodes of Malcolm in the Middle with Elaine, folded and put away laundry, had a bath, listened to music, played Fire Emblem, had left-over chicken&potatoes&coleslaw for supper. My mom called to tell me to drink cranberry juice. I really miss k-girl. The times we just hung out and sang songs and decided to walk to bubble tea at insane hours in the morning. I miss cartoon nights with Emery and poutine night at Ward. I miss spontaneously having my moose pick me up after work and spending weeks with her just being sisters. I miss my gf even though I just saw her a few days ago. I guess I'm in one of those moods where I miss everything. :(
I got a letter from Melanie today, but I haven't opened it yet. I'll probably read it tomorrow and I also need to write back to my moose, and I'll probably write to k-girl, cuz I miss her so much. Elaine has a presentation at the library tomorrow night, so I'll be getting a ride to choir with her brother. I'm crossing my fingers hoping I don't get her cough. I've coughed a few times today and seem to be sniffly.
Okay, I'm beginning to consider moving out to Alberta to live with my sister. The largest downside to this will be leaving my gf and k-girl (along with a few other friends). I think the next time I talk to my therapist I'll ask him how difficult it is to switch provinces (and still get disability). Also, I guess I would need to find therapy in Edmonton, but being a larger city, maybe they will have DBT. (I should look into that.)
Anyway, time for fruit and Dead Like Me.
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