Peripheral (nineveh_rains) wrote,

I can't take this right now.

I can't take the fact that anyone even wants to think of me, let alone care about anything I do/say/think/feel...
That's the problem, I can't feel anything. And in my lack of emotion, there is an increased possibility that I am going to hurt you, any one of you, because I cannot relate to the words you give me, to the comfort you try to give or the support you try to state. I can't deal with this right now. I can't deal with you thinking that I'll always be here; that I'll be the one when you need somebody. As much as I would like to, I know I cannot be that person. For a little while I need some time to stop feeling. I need some time away from the world so that the people I care about don't get hurt in the middle of this. You give me kind words and they mean so much to me, but I am certain that I will poison this just as I have everything else. Just let me disappear for a few days/nights; pretend I'm not here and just let me sleep. Eventually I will come out of this hibernation, this metamorphosis, and I will be able to function again; be your friend again. Just please let me go away, if only for a little while.

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