|On a different note...
||[Apr. 8th, 2006|03:28 am]
|||||tired but I need to write||]|
|||||I live with it every day - bnl||]|
Leah is going to get the car that she wants, but automatic. I am so glad that I wasn't there to listen to Tom being rude to the salesman (or whatever they are called these days) and no one giving Leah a chance to say what she wanted when it is going to be her car.
Leah also got a new fridge today. I am happy for her that now she has a nice fridge except that now it will look more empty than the last one.
We went and bought groceries and I like doing that and I enjoy the putting away of groceries. Somehow it doesn't feel the same at the Anderson's, so it is something that I miss. After groceries was time to go see Bowfire. I bought her the cd as an early birthday present and she got one of the preformers to sign it, so I was happy for her for that as well.
I enjoyed our outing, and afterwards we got slushies. I spent the rest of the evening going through some of my things and sorting some stuff. Earlier in the day I went to the laundromat.
I did not enjoy the morning. Tom felt it was necessary to observe me sleeping. Apparently my mother now has a theory that I am afraid of the dark. I feel that quite the opposite is true. I feel like all I am to my parents is an inconvenience and a liability. (I wrote a poem, to be posted later.) I was also reminded of how much "attention" certain relatives paid to me when I was institutionalised. Like I said in therapy on Thursday, this is not something you get better from. it is a condition that you learn to live with (like diabetes). How do they not realise that I live with this EVERY day? Well, Mark said that it is because they don't live with it. Like some people with chronic pain, you sometimes think it can't be that bad or that they get used to it, but, as the saying goes, until you have walked a mile in their shoes you have no idea. It's just frustrating when people think that they are being supportive and really they have no idea.
If it was not for my Moose...I would be so much worse than I am. I can't think of anything that she hasn't done for me. I feel a lot of guilt for infiltrating her life so much sometimes. I just wish I knew how to be a better sister...
The rest of the week has gone by. On Thursday I went to therapy during the day and then watch one of Jamie's hockey games at the rink nearby. Wednesday I sang with the choir at Anchor Pointe (an Easter cantata). On Tuesday night I phoned Kalena but Sherry had been talking to Steve so the phone died. I plan to call her back tomorrow.
On Monday, I went with Leah and my father to move my grandparents to Edgewater. Stressful, but I think they will be alright. Now just have to get the house dealt with.
I think I have finally gotten all that I needed to say for now finally typed out. I don't think that I will be much better anytime soon, but for now I am tired.