|topless in the dark
||[Feb. 22nd, 2006|06:32 am]
|||||Breathing - Lifehouse||]|
I dunno. J isn't feeling great and nothing I say seems to make it better. :(
Played Maple Story today. Worked on knitting. Listened to audio book. Watched 2 episodes of CSI (yay!) and a movie (Side Streets).
I feel fat. :( I've been trying to eat more conscienciously but it doesn't feel like it's effective at all. :( Still feel like I could pick up smoking again at the drop of a hat. Remembered that the first time I quit was only for about a month (until I ended up at the shelter). I dunno, maybe smoking feels deliberate. It's an action. Not smoking is an unaction. Smoking validates my existence. Guess I'll bring this up in therapy. There's gotta be a better way, I just don't know what it is yet. :(
(fuck. i could really use a smoke.)