After I post this, I am going to bed, but I also wanted to say that I get to see Jamie again! :) We hardly ever see each other more than once a week but tomorrow I will get to see him for two days in a row! :) Tomorrow is his first hockey game and I am going to watch and I think it will be fun and it makes me feel warmfuzzies that he actually asked me to come! :) Things have really took a turn in our relationship since my birthday. He is more open about his feelings and has been so supportive of me and expressive and things just feel a whole lot more intimate and certain and I really like that.
So the happiness of today made up for the horrible horrible breakdown that I had last night that I can't even really remember that much about it, all I know is that I haven't felt that bad since I was in the psych ward and it scared me a little. I was kinda afraid that Jamie was gonna call the ER on me, but I didn't do anything bad. I did think about cutting, but I just kept telling myself that I couldn't and that I've been doing so good lately; not to ruin it.
I think part of the reason I have been feeling good lately (excluding last night) is because I have been keeping my days full. On Sunday I was supposed to have a preformance with choir, but it got cancelled because everyone was sick. I didn't mind because I was still getting over a cold and the only reason I was going to go if it wasn't cancelled was because my mom was going to come. On Saturday and Sunday I spent most of the time reinstalling everything on my laptop for my new harddrive that J gave me for my birthday. :) Before that, I spent a few days with my Moose and we saw Harry Potter as my birthday gift from my aunt and as part of the tradition that I am carrying on even though my bestfriend can't come with me anymore. Then on Monday, I spent the day wraping Christmas gifts and yesterday I went to Dunnville with Leah and dad and shopping today with J; writing Christmas cards, and watching hockey tomorrow. I have no idea what I will be doing after tomorrow but I'm sure I will find something. I don't know why, but I always feel energised around the holidays and get a lot of projects done, so I'm sure I will work on some of those.
Anyway, I have rambled long enough and really should get some sleep.