Today we learned about suicide in class and everyone was getting depressed abot it but it helped me to feel normal.
Sometimes I still feel unstable, sometimes I feel like I can't express myself the way I used to. I cry less now, and in general it's a good thing but sometimes disappointing. I still have emotions, which is something I was worried about losing when I started the meds, but I feel okay about them now. I don't know about the mood stabilizers. I think I'm doing okay without them, but I'll talk about it with Dr. Z tomorrow.
The other night a bunch of us were partying and it suddenly hit me that I was the most popular person in the room. I have never thought of myself as popular, which says something about the people I was with (sorry, no offense). determination told me once how it's important who you hang out with, and like j_cat and I discussed, you can pick up negative traits from people you surround yourself with.
For the past couple of days, I've felt pretty strong within myself. I went swimming yesterday without anyone, which I never would have been able to do before. I'm feeling more confident about who I am and the decisions I've made. This feels really good, especailly because I don't recall ever feeling this way in my life at all.
So, I hope all of you are happy for me. It sure as hell has been a difficult journey, but I think I'm finally getting the rest I've so desperately yearned for my entire life.