Peripheral (nineveh_rains) wrote,

More wierd dreams

I had a dream this morning, with a search for milk, a great sandwich deal, and a really bad movie and some porn. And now we don't have enough milk for me to have breakfast...

since you were online
when I tried to call
I decided to do the same
nothing ever changes around here
but things sure aren't the same
he brought his girlfriend
to the holy place
they left together
an unholy act
left us all alone to die
for life is just the process of death
some enjoy it while they can
others dwell in misery
damn, I'm being way too vague
why's it all a mystery
I wish I could meet that girl
who keeps calling to me
her thoughts are violently loud
I can almost hear her scream
how can I save the drowning if I am amongst them?
I am alright
I am just fine
keep living how you're used to
I'll play again some other time
but now the frost is cold and biting
although I have no need
for fighting
I don't even feel the struggle
go and bond with fellow kin
for if you don't
bitchings will begin
I don't want to play the game
of struggling for attention
I'll accept what I'm dished out
even if it's a small portion
now you're probably all confused
perhaps I am mistaken
but these are things
that can't be said
without someone's heart breaking

I thought I'd go
away today
to take a trip
and let you play
but even if I can't join in
I'd like to stay
and watch the game
you're so cute when you're having fun
I thought I was the only one
who knew the secret of letting go
well I guess I didn't know
crying, flying
it's all the same
living, dying
who can tell?
I watched the sun rise up today
and listened to what it had to say
wish I could have shared it
with the most beautiful and best you
so peaceful and sexy
soon the darkness comes
stealing the secret of letting go
so others cannot know
screaming, laughing
it's all the same
bleeding, dying
who can tell?

a summer day
when we were four
our warm hearts
even when we're poor
a warm spring breeze
camping outdoors
this is the way
love lives in me
a lightning flash
in the darkest storm
our flame of purity
of hope we share
a sparkling flame
on this wicked night
this is the way
you live in me

cut me
and tie me up
beat me
and make me bleed
I could never
explain this need
you ignorantly satisfy

angel falling, burning bright
why do your tears burn
brightest under moonlight?
when the darkness comes
all is void
where are the fiends
that cause this noise?
and your "friends"
who said they'd be there
what is this word that they call "care"?
people say that they don't
how often is it that anyone does?
when the finish line
is staring you in the face
it doesn't mean you've won last place
and nothing forces you to cross it
I'll do anything to hold you back
(even if you hate me for it)
because you are the reason
I haven't quit yet
I love you for it
I wish you could know

rising into bleakness
trudging through vast miles
facing the bitterness
struggle against the storm
the wind blows cold
deep inside
shudder to keep warm
rebelling to stay alive
not wanting to return
to forever stay away
no freedom to play
all energies created
in means to survive
resisting the force
pulling back
but all strength is drained
from making it through the day
is there no escape?
just want it all to go away
night returns
tormented straight through
and another day dawns
full of grief and strife

stupid bitch
is who you are
you fuck everything up
and then blame it on me
no matter what
it's always my fault
even though
it is my blood
that has been spilt
all over
this stainless rug
and the blame soaks in
until it is permanent
and no amount of cleansing
could wash away the pain
everybody stares
at this guilt that isn't mine
but I must carry it around
because the fault
could never be yours
and you destroy me
my innocense betrayed

as she lay there
they all stared
not knowing how she fell
but if they knew
they were the ones
they would merely cry
her father tore her soul apart
and made her feel abused
her sister gave her all the blame
overburdening her with guilt and dispair
her brother agravated endlessly
ruining her mind
her mother so indifferent
never interferring
each one of them unknowingly
telling her to leave
her father handed her some pills
her siblings a thick rope
her mother handed her a blade
together they all pushed
and even though she fought them hard
she finally screamed good-bye
the only one who ever heard
was he who already died

Still more to come...

  • Wishlist 2015

    Miscellaneous: Special crayons: Savvy Sand and Shady Gray RMT licensed massage xBox credit Pusheen: Donut Pusheen phone charm Marshmallow…

  • Wishlists 2014

    Licensed Massage Gelly Roll pens (any) Pusheen: Donut Pusheen phone charm Marshmallow Nap phone charm Medium Pusheen plush toy Pusheen emotion…

  • Sorry that it's not one of yours.

    Dear Mister Caroll Spinney, I have much love for you and all the work you have done. I hope you know how much you have influenced the lives of so…

  • Post a new comment


    Anonymous comments are disabled in this journal

    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened