Peripheral (nineveh_rains) wrote,
Peripheral
nineveh_rains

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This song means something to me.

The Couch by Alanis Morissette

you hadn't seen your father in such a long time
he died in the arms of his lover how dare he
your mother never left the house
she never married anyone else
you took it upon yourself to console her

you reminded her so much of your father
so you were banished
and you wonder why you're so hypersensitive
and why you can't trust anyone but us
but then how can i begin to forgive her
so many years under bridges with dirty water
she was foolish and selfish and cowardly if you ask me

i don't know where to begin in all of my 50 odd years
i have been silently suffering and adapting, perpetuating and enduring
who are you, younger generation, to tell me that i have unresolved problems
not many examples of fruits of this type of excruciating labour

how can you just throw words around like grieve and heal and mourn
i feel fine. we may not have been born as awake as you were
it was much harder in those days we had paper routes uphill both ways
we went from school to a job to a wife to instant parenthood

i walked into his office i felt so self-conscious on the couch
he was sitting down across from me
he was writing down his hypothesis i don't know
i've got a loving supportive wife
who doesn't know how involved she should get
you say his interjecting was him just calling me on my shit?

just the other day my sweet daughter
i was driving past 203
i walked up the stars in my mind's eyes
i remember how they would creak loudly
she was only responsive with a drink
he was only responsive by photo
i was only trying to be the best big brother i could

i've walked sometimes confused
sometimes ready to crack open wide
sometimes indignant; sometimes raw
can you imagine i pay him 75 dollars an hour
sometimes it feels like highway robbery
and sometimes it's peanuts
i wish it could last a couple more hours

so here we both are battling similar demons (not coincidentally)
you see in getting beyond knowing it solely intellectually
you're not relinquishing, your majestry
you are wise, you are warm, you are courageous, you are big
and i love you more now than i ever have in my whole life.
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