Peripheral (nineveh_rains) wrote,
Peripheral
nineveh_rains

  • Mood:
I just spent the last hour crying, then I called a crisis line before getting back on the computer. This is what I wrote while sobbing.

deprived
undernourished
shriveling
dying
I just wnat you to notice
that my roots have been torn
and eaten away
and that I am brittle as Fall leaves
and fragile as dust
and that all these poison arrows in me
some of them I won't let you pull out
some of them are comfort-pain to me
some of them I won't let go
and some of them are killing me
I see you stricken with pain
at the sight of me
and it brings me hate
that my pain hurts you
I loathe myself for wasting
your time
your care
your heart
your compassion
if I feel like I am dying
how can there be any retribution?
how can I be saved
and let go of these arrows
the very things
killing me?
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