Peripheral (nineveh_rains) wrote,

  • Mood:

Thinking Clearly

Last night I watched a video on boundaries. Now I know that I violated yours. It helps for everything to make more sense. When you violate others' boundaries, you feel that yours are not being met.

I am becoming so much more aware of how my personality disorder affects me. I'm not sure if it's because of this social setting or if I'm just beginning to think more clearly.

Why can't I stop thinking about you. I know you are married. I know you just got hurt. But I am flirtatious by nature and you are the only one here who's boundaries are not violated by that. Too many coincidences. You wait for me before class; I see you in my dream and then you are the first person I see upon waking (other than my roomate). You sit beside me in goal review. I am trying to be so careful. I know you are trying for counselling with your wife. I know you have young children. I have no idea how old you are. I know you feel strongly about the rules. You still don't know me. You are vulnerable and I cannot allow myself to use that to my advantage. They tell us to inform the nurses if we start having feelings for another patient. I do not want to mention this. I don't want it to become any bigger than it is.

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