It felt bad because I know what it seemed like. It felt bad because you made me realise that I was doing a terrible thing. It felt bad because I was more concerned about what it was doing to you than what I was doing to myself.
But I feel cared for because you prevented it from going too far.
I know I shouldn't need someone to stand by me and tell me not to do those things, but at such moments the sane part of my mind goes awol and all I can think about is the sensation and wonder how long it'll last.
Well, tomorrow (technically today) I get to fill out a personality assessment test and probably a bunch of other forms