Peripheral (nineveh_rains) wrote,

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A small miracle

I was all set to deal with the worst, to start my life over from scratch. Somehow a small miracle happened and all of a sudden everything is back to the way it was. I asked him what made him decide; he just said that he'd thought about it. (Typical not very good with words fashion.) Now I have to deal with my conflicting feelings: love or sex? Both would be nice, but not very realistic. I still can't believe I/we got off scott-free! Not very good punishment, now is that? ;9 I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to deal with that: no consequences almost equals "why not keep it up?"
It's good to feel wanted. I'm not sure why Ian wants me, and I'm pretty sure I don't have very good reasons... *sigh* He is being a bit clingy which I can't blame him for but my natural reaction to that is to totally limit physical contact when that happens. I think maybe I just need some time to think and deal with this before I can decide whether or not I can keep up with this life. I really was prepared to start completely over save for 2 or 3 people in my life... Yeah, I think I definately have a problem about there not being any consequences... for now anyway. I might change my mind. If we can keep our little game and he gives me more independance, then I think I could deal with that. :)

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