January 20th, 2010

swing

(no subject)

I have been severely unstable lately and can't figure out why. I've been taking my meds on time and am right in the middle of my menstral cycle (ie. nowhere near PMS)

Watching "What Not To Wear" has inspired me to go through my wardrobe. Also, getting rid of things makes me feel better. I hate feeling like I have too much stuff. I was thinking about going through my sheets and blankets as well, but my back is killing me. I must have slept oddly last night. Almost everything else in my bedroom is exactly as I want it, so I feel okay in that room. I'm sure I could straighten up a few things, but am okay for now. My kitchen is kind of a mess. In the middle of a painting project on the table and have a counter full of dishes to be washed.

I have absolutely none at all motivation to go to choir practice tonight, but have already made arrangements to be picked up. Am considering taking an extra Ativan with me to make it through. I've just been so unsure lately. I don't know what the best coping option is. I'm trying to get off of drugs, not become dependent on more. I don't know what to do.

I just want to curl up somewhere dark and warm where no one can find me. (The basement of McKinnon comes to mind.) Maybe I should have never left Guelph...
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