April 9th, 2008


(no subject)

I've been so emotional lately. I've been crying at the drop of a hat. I'm not sure if this is just post-PMS (which has always affected me more than the pre-PMS on the emotional front) or if I am depressed or something else? Maybe I am simply exhausted from being more active and social than usual. Maybe I am frustrated and disappointed with the results from the neurologist. It could be anything. I have no idea.

I had an incredibly vivid and intense dream the other night that started off with my sister pulling me down on top of her in the bathtub and not letting me up. Like she was forcing me to drown her. I finally got up and pulled her up and she puked a bit then went catatonic. Then I carried her over to the people who were our parents in the dream and told them that Leah had gone psychotic and that they had to take her to the hospital. At some point in between all that, Leah whispers to me "Don't worry. I'll have a son for you before you die." It was a sweet gesture with taunting and threatening undertones. So, while everyone is out of the house, I am trying to clean up, but I feel VERY afraid. I can't remember too much else very clearly, as it was two nights ago, but it was really intense.