December 28th, 2005


shit fuck damn

you can't do this to people like me. already I wasn't doing the greatest. i rely on you. i guess i probably shoudn't, but I thought I could..
  • Current Mood
    disappointed disappointed

It had to happen sometime.

every day I fight a war against the mirror
I can't take the person staring back at me

You have no idea how TRUE this is. The only time I am not bad is when I'm not paying attention to the problems.
They tell you all the things you aren't supposed to do, but it is always up to us to figure out what it is we are supposed to do. We are followers and need to be told what to do and how to do it and that we are good for not doing the things we aren't supposed to no matter how badly we feel that we need to. I was really close to taking the blue pills again tonight. Not that I have any, but I did wish for a brief moment that I did. I don't know how much longer I can keep thins up until I fall apart again. No one else can see my inner demons, the ones that come out when I can't hold the darkness off anymore. Reality is what you experience. Anyone who tells you that you should be living a certain way is wrong, because only you know what is right for you. (Okay I think I just contradicted myself, but being told what to do and agreeing that it is the right thing to do are different things.)
  • Current Music
    P!nk - DOn't Let Me Get Me