September 3rd, 2004

flight

(no subject)

Last night I had a dream about a place I went to after Homewood. My old roomate was there and my mom brought Lis and...someone else (I'm not sure who) with us when she dropped me off. Lacey, Kerri, Tab, and Amy and her sister were there too. I got stuck with these 2 roomates that were annoying. They kept moving the furniture around and one of them kept pulling the sheets off my bed. The room was like residence, but I hadn't known to bring anything so I had no bedsheets or towels or anything. Leanne had a single in the same hallway as my room, so it was nice to see her again. I met this guy in a wheelchair, he was a lot of fun. The place was really unstructured tho. I had no clue as to mealtimes or any sort of schedule at all. And they kept telling us that they would have to add a 4th person to our room and that made me really upset and it upset the blanket-pulling girl too. I went to Wes (a nurse from HW, but in the dream his name was Chris) and asked about schedules and stuff and he brought me to this guy in the gym and you had to wait to be called apon to approach him and I asked stuff about curfew and stuff. Anyway, it was really wierd.
flight

Why?

WHY DOES EVERYONE ALWAYS LEAVE ME? WHY DO I HAVE TO BE ALONE? OBVIOUSLY NO ONE REALLY CARES BECAUSE I TELL PEOPLE ABOUT THIS ALL THE TIME BUT OBVIOUSLY IT DOESN'T MAKE A DIFFERENCE BECAUSE I AM ALWAYS ALONE! NO ONE EVER INVITES ME ANYWHERE; NO ONE IS THERE WHEN I NEED THEM. WHY AM I ONLY PERIPHERARY TO ANYONE'S LIFE???
One day I really will disappear.
  • Current Music
    Why Part II - Collective Soul
flight

Disclaimer

I don't need drugs to fuck myself up anymore. I am doing a perfectly good job of shaking and feeling like shit without them. But just so you know, I have a shitload of pills kicking around. Not that I feel like using them, I've moved on to drinking household cleaners. Too bad we don't have any bleach.

More than likely all this shit is because I had to stop taking the Zoloft.
flight

(no subject)

please don't let this be the last...
we kiss
we hold each other in our arms

don't let this be the last time...
I drop everything for you
I can say I love

don't leave me alone here on earth