I will be your Pine Sol girl
always pining after you
and I will sit and watch from the closet
waiting for you to let me out
I know you don't want to deal with me
and I know it can be okay
Afterall, I like secrets.
You won't know if or when it ends. ;)
I can't sleep. I'm thinking too much. Thinking of how horney I am and how I can't do anything about it. Thinking of all the things I'm missing out on and all the things I will be missing out on. Thinking about how much pain I'm in just sitting here typing and how maybe I should just take a painkiller and let the codein knock me out. Thinking about the strange reoccuring dream I had today, and how I shouldn't have gone out to rent movies, even though it's only a 2 minute drive away. Thinking about all the decisions I'm going to have to make and the things I am going to have to accomplish. If I live through this year, I should get a freaking medal. But of course I won't. I don't think any of you appreciate how difficult a time this is for me. If you think my life was bad before... I don't know what I'd be like if I weren't on my anti-depressants. I'd probably be a complete wreck, crying all frickin day. I was pretty weepy today. I think I do need to cry. And of course, trying to relieve my horniness, I've been thinking too much about relationships. I have so many doubts about something I was once so sure of, and I can't even think of the future let alone 3 days in advance now.
I think for once I am looking for sympathy. Or at least pity. I know who has the tea. ;)
Sometimes I wish I could kill my self just so certain people would feel like shit for not caring. But then, if they don't care while I'm alive, why should they care when I'm dead?