August 21st, 2003

flight

I like this.

My LiveJournal Sitcom
Living bicycles (TBS, 10:30): nineveh_rains (David Hyde Pierce) tells a joke that offends argonsloth (Soleil Moon Frye). Afterwards, k_girl (Tim Robbins) bakes 500 cookies for a bake sale, but j_cat (Hayley Mills) eats them all. In the next town over, leella (Christina Ricci) ruins hokus_mouse (Patsy Kensit)'s favourite toothbrush while house-sitting. Meanwhile, taluagel (Antonio Banderas)'s new shirt bleeds in the wash and stains all of determination (Laura Prepon)'s underwear pink. (Part 1 of 2.)
What's Your LiveJournal Sitcom? (by rfreebern)
flight

My mind is my own worst enemy.

I am sick as I write this, so don't pay much attention. I am stupid. I get sick over the most simple things. A stupid date fucked me up. It fucked up my brain and at first I thought it was something good, now I'm worried that it might be something bad. Maybe I just can't handle secrets well. I can't. I feel shut out. Fuck, The oven has been on for how long now?
The pie is in the oven and my mind is in the sky and my heart is in my bowels.
And I know it aches and your heart it breaks You can only take so much Walk on
I just need to write right now. I still want to climb into a freezer. I want to lay down and cry. I just want to do really passive sorts of pain to myself.
The only baggage you can bring is all that you can't leave behind
At least now the tears are coming. My chest feels like it is going to burst. I just want to lose my mind and cry. I want to throw up. I've been throwing up almost all the time when I cry now. Bad correlated behaviours. Crying is good; throwing up is bad. Haven't had apple dealies with argonsloth for a long time now. The other day I was homesick for Ward. I miss our household grocery trips. "I am not your beast of burden."
Back to the opening point. I KNOW it is stupid. I KNOW it is fucked up. I KNOW you said to forget it; not to worry about it. You should have just let me believe it was the date of their wedding. I was fine thinking that, but you had to say something and nothing. Something only you know? It doesn't make sense unless you are planning something that day. How else could no one else know? I checked Google; I checked Slashdot, but I didn't know what I was looking for. That's not the point anymore. The point is something so mundane could trigger me. I guess I take secrets the wrong way. Too personally. It feels like you pulled a huge mindgame on me.I wasn't lying when I told you it would drive me crazy. I guess I can tell what things will set me off; I just can't stop them if they do. I don't understand why you did that! I'm not mad at you, just very confused and sick in my mind.
Like Laura said once: You can't go posting things and not expect people to ask.
...Especially when you have fucked up friends
  • Current Music
    Walk On - U2
flight

(no subject)

My LiveJournal Sitcom
nineveh_rains at a hotel (TBS, 10:30): nineveh_rains (David Hyde Pierce) gets j_cat (Hayley Mills) drunk. Then, night_shade (Mariel Hemingway) buys cars instead of novels, ruining 980iana (Mandy Patinkin)'s day. That same day, argonsloth (Soleil Moon Frye)'s new shirt bleeds in the wash and stains all of determination (Laura Prepon)'s underwear pink. Later that day, hokus_mouse (Patsy Kensit) gets a job as secretary to k_girl (Tim Robbins). Crazy results follow.
What's Your LiveJournal Sitcom? (by rfreebern)
flight

Pie for breakfast.

I'm not sure why Emery slept on the couch last night. Well, technically he got the loveseat since I had the couch. I guess maybe for the same reason as me. I remember drifting off watching a movie he had switched to on the tv. Some vampire comedy movie. I think I saw about half of it. The next thing I remember is America's Funniest People. I liked it; it was pretty good. Mostly people just telling jokes. I remember them announcing the final 3 but I don't remember the winner. Just now I woke up to a show called Mama's House. It's kinda older style comedy like Married With Children. I decided to rouse myself and feed the cats before heading upstairs with some intention to get proper sleep. Now I'm not sure if I want to. I have my door shut so the cats won't bother me.
I'm supposed to be seeing Twinky today and I need to take a shower. We also need kitty litter pretty desperately. I just don't want to haul it all the way back to our house.
I have this (what my mom calls a) sunsore from when I drool in my sleep; it's been drying out one corner of my mouth. I need to stop licking it and picking at it.
Baked both the pies this morning around 2am, which was my original reason for going downstairs. Emery gives pretty good massages for someone reportedly not that experienced in that department. ;) Both of them really helped to relax me. *hugs*
I got to make some cds last night. Yay! Some categories I still need to fill up more before making a cd, but I think I can make about 3 souly using techno music. I'm hoping to make more 303 Infinity cds. Also, a Dama cd (if there are enough tracks).
  • Current Music
    Wakeup Love - Christopher
flight

(no subject)

I forgot to mention the infected pore on my right shoulder. It hurts. I don't know if I should be squeezing out the puss or trying to disinfect it.
  • Current Music
    some tune in my head
flight

(no subject)

I can never hit people hard enough or hurt them bad enough in my dreams.
It is frustrating as all hell.
  • Current Music
    Dreamz Away - 303 Infinity