April 16th, 2003


"As she calmly sucks away..."

Tonight I remember the things that didn't involve our hormones. When you walked me to my locker after class and when you would bitch about our classmates or your friends. Why did you choose Dave over me? Would I have distracted you so much even then? While I still wallowed in naïveté and walked the border of innocense. Honestly, am I more attractive now or is it just that people are more open now? Perhaps it is that now I know people for me to be attractive to? Or perhaps I just notice it more because of my change in mental state. I'm not saying any of this to be conceited. I can hardly believe it myself, how many people I know are admitting to being attracted to me...
I miss you, and not just because I'm horny. A lot of things remind me of you and things I wish you could be a part of. But you have your own life too.
Apparently I've had a bruise on my face for about a week now and I was only informed of this today. And now, of course, it hurts. :( I have no idea what could have happened to me to cause that, unless I walked into a doorframe while walking to the bathroom half-asleep. i don't know.
Mom came over and took some things up to storage. All I have left is 3 more binders to go through, and then all I have to do is put them in a box along with my books and I'm finished. You won't believe how empty the room looks now. And how much crap I own. When you consider how much I am living off of now and how much I'm putting into storage, I have a lot of stuff. But then again, as I mentioned before, this is my life; everything I own... It scares me that the contents of my entire life can be contained in one not so large room.
I watched Ghostship last night. I was kinda expecting it to suck, but it turned out to be pretty good. Pansy says Beebop os being screened in T.O. Man, well, I watched the Escaflowne movie tonight. Tomorrow I've gotta fold laundry and start reading for my exam on Saturday. @ 2pm. Yippitycrap.
Anyway, seeing as how I was acting drunk earlier from lack of sleep, I really should go and spend some time unconscious.
Take care, everyone.

More crazy dreams

It started out as an outing to Jeff & Christine's. Their house was HUGE, and kinda like a farm in the backyard, with woods at the edge of their property, but from the front, it looked like a normal residential street. A crescent or circle.
So there were like 60 people there and a lot of them were older, some of them elderly, but about half of them our age. There were a few younger kids, but not that many.
Anyway, it gets a little crazy and messed up around here. It turns into a season finale of Dawson's Creek (which I haven't watched in years!), and there's this small cabin on the property that has all these old calendars and two beds. Earlier in the evening, I had gone for a wak down the street and when I came back through the neighbour's side yard, there was this really creepy music playing and J&C had these dusty old portraits facing out the window. It really creeped me out; I went to go show my friends, but by the time they got there the music had changed, so it wasn't so creepy.
Eventually I get bored and my sister and I go to Zellers to buy some candy. Well, while we're in line waiting to pay, stuff keeps appearing with our stuff that we don't want to buy. I keep picking things out and yelling at her cuz I figure she is trying to get me to pay for things she wants until I realise it isn't her. A store clerk finally pulls us aside and tells us it's an experiment they're doing and proceeds to ask us these survey questions. Well, Leah was answering most of them, and I noticed Mr. Fay in line so I went over to talk to him; asked how his grand-daughter was doing. I think he ended us giving us a ride back to J&C's and when we returned, everyone was asleep, and that made me upset. One man was half-awake so I asked him why there wasn't any bonfire this year, and then this lady started crying about her little boy. We all thought he was lost, but it turned out she was just upset because the lother kids were picking on him. A bunch of the teens woke up cuz of the screaming and were bored, so they decided to go bowling (at 3am?).
It pretty much unravels from there.

The dream I had previous to that was I would go to BiWay to take showers and ther e was this girl who would always try to peek in on me while I was showering. On the way, I ran into my old highschool friends that I hadn't seen in years (Lacey, Kerri, Jenny, Patricia) and they came with me. Somehow we end up at my grandparents' house and papa is all pissed off, saying I left dishes in his sink for 2 years. :( So I wash the dishes, and Leah comes in to visit gramma.
Okay, maybe that one's not so wierd, but I left out the part about the bats.
One time on the way to my BiWay shower, I don't know who I was walking with, but it was a male. We were walking through a university campus, pretty late at night and there were all these buildings they were trying to tear down. I asked how could they tear them down when there was so much historical value. I think the answer was to the effect of: the university couldn't afford to make the necessary repairs to keep the buidings functional.
Now here is the part with bats. We are walking towards a building, and there are all these "bats" around and a bunch of people. I think it was supposed to be an experiment, But I didn't like them. They would stick to people's legs and stuff, and the only way to get them to stop was to put them in a shoe.

Okay. hird and final dream (for now). We're in this kind of waiting room/office sort of thing. There's rows of bookshelfs, like in a library, windows at one end. Couches and sidetables by the door, floorplants, mirrors, and a sink.
Well, I don't know why any of us are there, but we decide to larp. It's a ST:TNG larp... (yeah, wierd, I know.) an somehow we are actually wearing the uniforms. Well, so there's two characters that have gone crazy. One male and one female. The male just stares at me when I pass by him, does nothing. Thie girl, however, keeps going on about needing my face; something about jewels. So I am trying to avoid her like anything, but she keeps on my tail the entire time! (But never gets my face.)
So right before game is called, I find a handful of fives in the trash, We're having post-larp discussion, and I ask the guy howcome I didn't antagonize his craziness. Apparently only 3 people potentially could, I was one of them, but I passed the test, so I didn't. Then I made a comment about how at one point I wished we were playing Vampire so that I could use dementation on the crazy girl.

WHY DO MY DREAMS KEEP REMINDING ME OF OTHER DREAMS I'VE HAD?!!! It makes me feel like I'm going crazy!

Okay, enough of that. time to study.

Beauty is only skin deep?

From: Flounder
Date: Thu Apr 10 22:11:46 2003
I know that hundreds of studies have been done on the whole reaction to beautiful people situation but it is still alarming how this pans out in real life. Is it really that simple? Look good get everything? It is interesting to hear that physical beauty is included as part of a list of situations. Would simply having plastic surgery change your life? And can this tendency to judge by appearances be overcome? Can we learn to look past the outside and pay attention to other aspects of the situation or person?

Obviously not, or I wouldn't have such a shit life.
But then, perhaps things are getting better...


From: jkm
Date: Tue Apr 15 11:18:27 2003
I agree that attractive women are more favourable to men (at first), and attractive men tend to be more favourable to women. But I don't agree that attractive women are usually assumed to be more intelligent than that of the average woman. Isn't there a stereotype that equates beautiful women with stupidity? I know that this is definitely portrayed in TV and movies.

From: Anne-Marie
Date: Wed Apr 16 14:06:38 2003
When considering the ideas brought up in the text about how people react to physical beauty, I am reminded of what evolutionary implications this reflects. It has been suggested that the traits we regard as beautiful, including youthfulness, vigour and a "healthy appearance" are all indicators of health and adaptive fitness. From an evolutionary perspective, it would increase our own reproductive fitness to seek individuals who portray these qualities. Either as a mate or as a close social interactor, we would benefit from being with someone who demonstrates good health and fitness.
I am inferring that people who posess these signs of fitness may also be labelled with traits such as intelligence because being intelligent will promote an individual's ability to interact efficiently within their environment and consequently, to achieve individual fitness. Therefore, maybe our tendency to provide dispositional labels to physical traits emerges from our species' evolution.
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