February 13th, 2003


At least you have a home to go to.

Here is my little rant of self-pitty:

All of you have a home to go to other than your place of residence. There is no truth in that for me. Why does no one seem to understand this? When I am sick, I have to care for myself. I don't have anyone bringing me small comfort items, a glass of water and a Tylenol. No, I have to pull myself out of bed and try to stay upright long enough to fetch it, or suffer without. And my misery, that loves company so much, never has any. One thing I heard somewhere that ALWAYS keeps coming back to mind is this: "Take care of your loneliness by yourself." I constantly feel that the world is screaming that at me.

*moan* This song hurts right now: I Want To Believe You by Lori Carson

I am afraid to sleep. The fever dreams frighten me and I feel more alone.
  • Current Music
    Sleep - The dandy Warhols

More pity

Why does no one love/care for me the way I do for them? This is really beginning to bother me, this, "Why can't you just love me?" thought that keeps running through my brain. That makes me feel so alone and empty.
At this point, I'm not sure if I need to change or just come to terms with the way things are. Why the hell does life suck so much?
  • Current Music
    Back To Good - Matchbox Twenty