Peripheral (nineveh_rains) wrote,

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Not okay

I want to take a very sharp knife and disembowel myself.

You still have so much to figure out. I am not a normal person, I can't just get on with it. I plan my -

*lightbulb turns on*

why my life sucks! I plan it around other people and other people are not dependable. Bravo! I finally have some sort of answer. 1 problem: I need people around me in order to feel okay. I realised this a few days ago and it makes perfect sense given the dependant personality traits diagnosis.
I wish to hell I could go to my support group on Wednesday, but I have an exam. *dispairs*

I base my worth on whether or not people want to spend time with me, and there's no "having time" factor. If I was important enought, they would make time. I know this is an element of my disorder but I cannot cut out the cancer.

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