Peripheral (nineveh_rains) wrote,

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Craptacular Holidays

I woke up crying.
The first thing she asked me was if I was still taking my meds.
"You're not my bad girl."

At least we didn't have a stupid fight this year. We came this close though. In front of his daughter even. I told my mom that if we had to go through this again this year, I wasn't going to come back to her house. So she went out and talked to him.

My mommy notices when things bother me and she tries to fix them before I have to get up and do it.
I lost my favourite Christmas tree decoration. It's a birdy. Well, I had to stop all of everything to find it. Then I was listening to the walnut inside the shell; she asked what was I doing. Then she kept asking if I was tired or feeling sick. I told her I was just being a kitty.
I think she might be beginning to realise the extent of the situation. She knows these things about me and they are just part of how her baby has always been, but now she is beginning to see how disfunctional and problematic these attributes can be. She's acting a little like how she did before I left for university, just not as detatched this time. "Bunny, are you okay? Why are you eating cereal, are you sick?" It's just what I felt like eating.

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