Afraid that you will see me as that pesky little girl who keeps wanting your attention; worried that you will avoid me because of it. Afraid that I do not play as large a part in your life that you do in mine; worried that I'll seem needy.
Why am I feeling this overabundance of emotion? You're right, I'm self-absorbed. I think depression does that to people. Right now I wish I could beat myself; beat some sense into myself; beat myself senseless. I want my body to reflect my soul; broken and bruised. I want a fucking cigarette. I want to burn, I want to bleed. I want to cry. I want to scream. I want to hate you but for you to love me. I want to be a bitch but still the one everyone looks to for help. "She's a nice girl. She just has to figure out what she wants." I don't know what I want.