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Not doing so well right now. Was looking forward to the concert all… - Just love me or leave me alone. [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Peripheral

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[Dec. 13th, 2009|09:20 pm]
Peripheral
[Current Location |my house]
[Current Mood |blahnot good]
[Current Music |Joy Joy Joy]

Not doing so well right now.

Was looking forward to the concert all day but once we started, I didn't want to be there. My anxiety got pretty bad but I made it through. Glad to be home right now.

I feel fat and useless. Being broke doesn't help any.

Beth asked me to do a song with her about bridesmaids. I told her I'd try. I've never been a bridesmaid; I've never been in anyone's wedding. (Cue thoughts of "I'm not important".)

I don't know what to do right now. I guess I'll try to keep myself distracted until bedtime.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: laradwyer
2009-12-14 02:32 am (UTC)
The stereotypical bridesmaid thing is about feeling like you're not important/won't find a husband (ie. always a bridesmaid, never a bride). Not that I want to encourage your feeling unimportant, but it's a feeling you could probably reflect in a song about bridesmaids.

I've never been a bridesmaid either. Personally, I'm glad for it. They usually make you pay for the dress yourself, plus I start thinking of being part of a gaggle of squealing women, racing for a bouquet .. rrgh.

At any rate, I hope you feel better. *hugs*
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[User Picture]From: nineveh_rains
2009-12-14 04:49 am (UTC)
Thanks Lara. *hugs back*

The reason I said "I'd try" is cuz of my anxiety and I'm not sure if I'll be able to pull of doing something out there. But, I consider her a friend and am trying to expand my horizons I guess. (It's one step closer to my childhood dream of acting, so I might as well give it a go.)

Only started the thinking about the never having been in a wedding later on in the evening. Yay morbid thoughts.

I appreciate your comment.
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[User Picture]From: whorishness
2009-12-14 05:56 am (UTC)
*Hugs hun*

If it's any consolation, I think our cheques come in this friday due to Christmas. Just gotta be careful with it and not go crazy (like I've odne the last 2 months with take out food, bad me) I've got exactly 4.24 to make it thru to next cheque. It can't come soon enough.
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[User Picture]From: nineveh_rains
2009-12-14 07:52 pm (UTC)
Getting our cheques early might not be such a good thing *nervous laugh* I have to make sure I have enough left over for January rent!

But I appreciate the info.

I at least got a tenner kicking around in case I need milk or something.
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[User Picture]From: whorishness
2009-12-14 09:49 pm (UTC)
Yeah I know what you mean. Usually when I get my cheque, first thing I do is pay my rent, put my half of the rogers bill in and buy 200 dollars in zehrs gift cards so that I konw if everything else goes to shit with my ability to not impulse shop I'll have my neccessities done. January is a long friggin month.
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[User Picture]From: nineveh_rains
2009-12-15 02:45 am (UTC)
Zehrs is a really expensive place to shop! But that sounds like a good strategy.
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[User Picture]From: whorishness
2009-12-15 03:51 am (UTC)
Here in cambridge it's one of the more reasonable places to go (Metro and Sobeys are 24 hours so prices are about 50 cents higher per item) and while Food Basics is cheaper they have less selection, so I have to end up going to Zehrs anyways so when you add travel it's just easier to go to the one. Also, I used to work at Food Basics, and it had massive roach and mice problems, and just after they put in their deli counter they had a human waste issue right over the meat cutters, so I refuse to get any meat there.
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[User Picture]From: nineveh_rains
2009-12-15 05:38 am (UTC)
Very valid points.
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[User Picture]From: love_war_snow
2009-12-14 06:54 pm (UTC)
Pain is inevitable suffering is not but borderline can sure get the best of us some times eh.
Hopefully today you realize you are important, you are beautiful and you mean so much to so many people. If not then I'm here to remind you hun.
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[User Picture]From: nineveh_rains
2009-12-14 07:52 pm (UTC)
Thanks *hugs*
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