||[Jul. 20th, 2007|03:58 pm]
I had difficulty going to sleep last night because I knew the feeling would be gone when I woke up. I'm also feeling slightly obsessive over Tyzen; I keep checking MySpace to see if he added me, but realistically, I shouldn't expect it, since he's currently on tour.
Right now, I'm in a "teeter-totter" mood, where I could go either up or down. I'm pretty sure it will be down, but I'm fighting it, which is good I guess.
I still have over a week here and already I am dreading going home. It is something that always happens to me no matter where I am. I am pretty sure it is a conditioned response, but I also am getting comfortable here and I hate change. *sigh*
Being on stage yesterday and part of the show, gave me a similar feeling as to when I went on the Underground Tour in Seattle last year. Being part of a group is an amazing feeling for me. I guess it's the sense of belonging that does it for me.
Oh, and being hypnotised isn't at all like hallucinating. At least, it wasn't for me. And I guess that's what I've always thought when I've watched the shows before. I don't think it's really delusional either, but I'd have to brush up on that to make a concrete decision. It could be sort of delusional, since you respond to the suggestions. The definition I was taught was that a delusion is "a fixed, false belief". I guess the "false belief" part applies. Hmm. I'm curious but don't want to start researching the mechanics of hypnotism, it'll just make me feel more obsessive and probably ruin my enjoyment.
I guess that's it for now. I hope I don't crash too hard.