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Borderline behaviour kicking in. - Just love me or leave me alone. [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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Borderline behaviour kicking in. [May. 18th, 2007|11:11 pm]
[Current Mood |blahblah]

So, things have felt off since last night. Everything was fine until I stayed behind to watch the credits. Understandably, she was tired, but she never lets me stay for the credits and it's like a personal, not value, but something important that I do. So she walked out and I stubbornly remained seated. I felt justified and decided to call a cab if she was pissed enough to leave without me, but she didn't. She was waiting outside the door when I exited. After that, I was all shaky and had trouble falling asleep. I felt that I was preventing her from getting a comfortable sleep, so I went into the other room for a few hours.
So, today, we went shopping with her mom. I guess I just was in a mood or something, but I still bought a bra, an actual $40 bra. It fits well. I was going to get a black one as well but they didn't have the correct size. I wanted to go over to BestBuy but I guess that wasn't on the agenda. Anyway, we went back to the house, and after I hibernated for a bit, I was feeling better. Her dad bought Swiss Chalet for dinner, but after dinner she was tired. Sometimes it just seems like we are polar opposites. ie. When shopping today she was in a good mood and I was not and later on when I was feeling better she was feeling tired. *sigh*
Yeah, so last night I cried. Then I wrote a poem about crying beside my sleeping lovers. I'm re-entering the dark phase it seems. I wrote a letter to Bre today and then she comes online tonight to tell me she just moved (again!). That's not the depressing part, but finding out that Kim got really hurt in a car crash the other day was definitely not good news!
I don't know. I guess I'm just not doing well. And I have been taking my meds faithfully, so it's not that. It doesn't even feel like that. I think it is sort of normal feeling, but still bad.

Anyway, go see HOT FUZZ.